Feeling
by magewhisper705
Summary: Children of Earth fix-it fic. Jack wakes up on a foreign planet and can't shake the feeling of unease. Spoilers: Torchwood S3, Doctor Who up to End of Time. Jack/Ianto, some Jack/Alonso. Reviews are much appreciated! Update: Chapter 6 - Hope.
1. Unease

Unease.

That was the only thing Jack felt as he stared at the insides of his eyelids. He couldn't remember where he was, or how he had gotten there, but at that moment he couldn't care less. Eyes still closed, he ran a mental systems check to see if he could ascertain the nature of the problem. He was lying on something soft, possibly a bed. He wasn't tired, or hungry, or in pain. In fact, he was rather comfortable, except for that niggling feeling of something not being right. Something was missing.

Stretching, Jack got up groggily. He reluctantly opened his eyes and found himself in what looked like a hotel room: desk in the corner; lamp on the bedside table; door to the bathroom; door leading outside with an exit map. Since he was too far away to read the text on the map, he could have been on any planet, during nearly any time period. The thing that gave it away was the carpet: it was burgundy, with bright pink and green dribbles and splashes. To Jack it looked like radioactive cat sick.

Only humans could manage to ruin a reasonably nice hotel room by putting in such tacky carpeting, Jack thought.

So, he was on a human-inhabited planet. Enough so to have a hotel for them. Good. Or, depending on what he had done the night before, bad. Species everywhere tended to be more lenient on what they saw as aliens, citing cultural difference and all that.

Time to figure out where the hell I am, thought Jack. He looked down at his clothes. He was in a white t-shirt and black pants, braces hanging down by his knees. Folded on the desk chair was his coat and blue shirt, along with his gun and vortex manipulator. Seeing the clothes, Jack remembered. Torchwood. But what was he doing off-planet if he was working for Torchwood? He got up and dressed, noting the lack of stains on his shirt and the newness of the strap of the vortex manipulator. He rubbed his head. Clearly, if his memory was coming back he hadn't been retconned. It seemed more like the results of a night of heavy drinking, maybe to drown out the memories the best he could.

Jack strapped on the vortex manipulator. It really was brand new leather. Gwen had given it to him. Gwen. She had met with him on that hill back on Earth. With Rhys. She was pregnant. Jack blinked hard, trying to clear the fog from his mind. He remembered Gwen perfectly, but still there was something missing. Something big.

He had run away. From the 456. No, that wasn't right. They had defeated the 456. Jack grabbed his head as a shooting pain ran through it. He had defeated the 456 by sacrificing his grandson. Steven. Names were coming back to him now. Alice, his daughter. She would hate him forever. But she was alive. But Steven wasn't.

Jack remembered using him and then losing her, but they weren't what was missing. Jack retraced his path. He had met with Gwen in the near past, six months after the 456 in her timeline. But it hadn't been nearly as long in his. Why didn't he go back to Earth? Jack always returned. Returned to find the Doctor. Was that who was missing? No. Jack had met the Doctor again and then once more after joining Torchwood. But the Doctor wasn't there to save the Earth that time.

Six months back in Gwen's timeline… that was September. Jack had saved the world along with Gwen, only this time everyone knew. The day before that… was a blank. All Jack remembered was rage and sorrow and pain, but now all he felt was the undercurrent of unease. The day before that, he remembered. The 456 had arrived and begun bargaining. And before that, too. He'd been captured and then rescued by someone… he couldn't remember whom. Gwen, probably. The previous day to that, the Hub had been blown up, with Jack in it. He could remember everything but that day in between. Why would he want to forget? What would he want to forget?

Pulling in his coat, Jack checked the pockets and found his earpiece. It still worked, but was quiet. He tapped a few buttons on his vortex manipulator, trying to tap into something, anything, that would give him a clue as to where and when he was. Finally, he heard voices speaking in an unfamiliar language. Jack activated the translator and set it to Earth English from the twenty-first century.

"_He has woken up already. Do you think he knows?"_

"_I am certain he has figured something out. We should not tell him. It will undo everything we have done."_

Those words put Jack on alert. Clearly someone was monitoring him, and they'd done something to him. After losing two years' worth of memory to the Time Agency, Jack vowed to never get rid of any memories unless it was absolutely necessary. But this time it seemed like his… captors? Jailors? Guards? Whoever they were, they had tampered with his mind. And unless they had a very good reason for it, they'd regret it.

The first thing he did was test the door. It opened without resistance. Good. They weren't keeping him prisoner, or at least not openly. Gun pointed to the floor, Jack approached a door at the end of the hallway. It, too, opened easily. Jack crept forward, scanning for movement and making as little sound as he could. The voices in his earpiece had stopped, which probably meant that whoever was watching him knew he was coming.

He flattened himself against a wall and slowly peeked around a corner. Seeing no one there, he continued. Finally, the hallway ended in a large archway. Jack hid in the corner of the hallway and the arch, checking again for danger. Even if he couldn't die, it was best to keep as safe as possible. Jack stilled as he heard movement.

Two humanoid forms rounded the corner. The skin not covered by their odd, loose garments was mottled blue, and they had odd-looking tentacles instead of hair. He hadn't ever seen them before, which worried him. Right as they passed by him, Jack leapt from the corner and levelled his gun at them.

"You have ten seconds to explain what you did to me and why. Or else I _will_ shoot you."

They looked at each other in confusion, clearly not recognising the weapon Jack held for what it was. Jack fired a shot at the ceiling to clear it up for them. They cringed back, startled.

"Just start talking. I'll be able to understand what you say, and I know you can understand me."

They still stared at him blankly. Just as Jack was about to shoot, he heard a sound behind him, and then blacked out.

When Jack came to, he was back in the hotel room. This time, however, he was dressed, and another one of the strange life forms was sitting in the swivel chair, entertaining itself by spinning back and forth, tentacles whipping around like pigtails. When Jack sat up and cleared his throat, it just looked at Jack like he was the one caught spinning around like a five-year-old.

Jack raised his eyebrow. The creature made a strange face.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, until Jack made a move to get up. The creature, seemingly harmless up till that movement, snarled and drew a blaster from its robe.

"Okay, okay. You don't want me to move."

It nodded. Jack decided to go with it for the time being.

"So you understand English. That's good." Jack spoke in his "new alien life form" voice. It was soft, soothing and slightly patronising at the same time, and usually worked pretty well. Reaching up slowly, Jack found his earpiece still in and working.

"Where am I?"

The creature just gestured to their surroundings.

"Are you going to speak to me?"

It shook its head.

"Look, you can't just hold me captive, tamper with my memories, and just expect me to sit here." Jack was beginning to get impatient. He threw off the covers of the bed and stood up. The alien fired at his head, just narrowly missing as Jack dodged. It said something, finally, which was translated into his earpiece.

"_Sit."_

"Oh, so now you're talking."

"_Be patient."_

"Why should I?"

"_We will incapacitate you if you do not sit still."_

"What reason would you have for that?"

"_Your emotions pain us. They have not subsided yet. Wait, and all will be explained."_

So they were empaths. His emotions… They didn't erase those, since the aliens still felt them. He had to get out of there before they finished whatever they were trying.

Jack's gaze flicked back to the alien sitting on the chair. It was watching him intently, reading his emotions, maybe. How much could it tell?

In response, it replied in its odd, chittering language.

"_It is no use trying to escape. We would stop you before then. My _praxet_ will be here shortly."_

The translator gave no English equivalent for that word. Jack asked the alien, hoping to distract it.

"What is a _praxet_?"

"_Your machine would have no word for it. It means… friend, associate, mentor, and other things that cannot be expressed. Companion would be the closest word in your tongue."_

"Very well. Who are you?"

"_We are the Rax, from the planet Eraxion. It was our cruiser onto which you teleported."_

"Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"_Yes. My companion may tell more."_

Jack sat back on the bed and waited. A few minutes later another one of the Rax walked in. It embraced the other tightly and touched its finger to the other's forehead. This one was a lighter shade of blue, and slightly taller.

"Touching," remarked Jack sarcastically. "But if we're done with the lovey-dovey stuff, can someone tell me where I am before I make a break for it?"

"_His impatience is not genuine, no?"_ asked the new one to its friend.

"_No. He certainly wants more to learn where he is, and possibly injure us." _Both of the Rax laughed at that.

Jack gave in. "Who are you and what have you done to me?"

"_I am Ter-na. This is Kal-ten. We are of the Rax."_

"Thanks for the introduction. Why are you keeping me here?"

"_To see if we are finished, or if more needs doing."_

"More what?"

"_You landed on our cruiser some time ago. Your emotions were wreaking havoc with the crew and the ship, so we incapacitated you and took away the source of the pain. However, it appears to have not taken. We will continue, and once you are well, we will take you where you need to go."_

Jack struggled not to get up and murder them right there and then. They had taken away his memories. He swore eternal vengeance on the last people who had taken his memories. He would do the same to them, if they didn't fix it fast.

"_Subduing you was remarkably challenging. We actually killed you in the process, but then you awoke later. Perhaps that was what impeded the block?"_

Jack spoke through gritted teeth. "Taking my memories was a bad idea. A very bad idea. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, formerly of the Time Agency, previous companion to the Doctor, and current leader of Torchwood Three. Are any of these names familiar to you?"

They had exchanged glances at the Doctor's name. The smaller one, Kal-ten, spoke up.

"_Then we have done you a service. Your memories of this person-"_ Ter-na cut him off.

"_Idiot boy. Do not tell him. It may trigger something, and then the pain will come back again." _She turned to Jack._ "We have helped you, Captain. What was once a plague is now only a lingering thought."_

"You have not helped me. Whatever I went through, no matter how bad it was, is part of me and I never want to forget it."

"_Very well, then. We will reverse it, but we cannot take you anywhere if you are suffering so."_

"Fine." Jack nearly spat the word at her. Ter-na looked up at Kal-ten, and they turned to leave in sync. As she walked through the door, Ter-na turned and said one word.

"_Ianto."_

**Author's Note:**

Thanks to my lovely beta gernumblies for checking this over and making sure I wasn't writing too much like an American! This is the first chapter in a hopefully long AU. I'm trying to establish a posting schedule, maybe one chapter a week or something so I don't go crazy trying to update constantly but don't leave anything hanging too long. Reviews are much appreciated, since this is my first long Torchwood fic. And thank you all for reading!

**Disclaimer:**

Jack and Alonso and other various characters aren't mine (unfortunately); they all belong to the BBC.


	2. Memory

Jack winced as the memories came flooding back. Ianto. Ianto Jones. His team-mate, his lover, and most importantly his support. Ianto, who had died when the 456 threatened the Earth. Died through Jack's own stupidity. He had asked Jack to never forget him, and what was the first thing Jack did? Forget him.

Disgusted with himself, Jack stormed out of the room to find a bar. Even though the alcohol wouldn't do a damn thing, he could pretend. A whole host of emotions passed through his head as he tore down the hallway. Most he couldn't put a name to, but some were all too familiar: guilt, fury, pain, sorrow, shame. All the same things he'd felt when Ianto died and all the things he'd been feeling, hidden under a façade of the charming Captain Jack. Captain Jack, who managed to lose most of his team in less than a year. Captain Jack, whose own stupidity nearly ended the world yet again. Captain Jack, who could run forever.

He reached the lobby and pushed through the front doors. No matter what planet he was on, finding somewhere with booze was too easy. It was night, or at least dark on this planet. Few life forms roamed the streets. As he walked, Jack scanned the few people out; assuming one of the beings would go where he wanted. He followed one into a darkly lit joint, stumbling through the doors. He sat down at the bar and pointed to something another patron had.

The bartender, an alien with two extra arms, mixed him up something that tasted like sweetened gasoline. Good. Maybe the burn would distract him. Jack stared blankly at a wall, trying not to replay Ianto's last words to him.

"_Don't forget me."_

"_Never could." _Jack had tried to smile, to reassure Ianto.

"_In a thousand years' time… You'll forget me." _He was so certain… That had broken Jack's heart, nearly as much as his death.

He had promised to remember him, tried to get Ianto to keep fighting, to not die, to stay with him. But those were his last words.

The last thing Ianto had ever asked and he couldn't even fulfil that. Never mind that it wasn't his fault. It hadn't even taken a thousand years.

Jack gulped the rest of his drink, glancing around the bar. Everyone was too wrapped up in their own drinks to notice he was crying.

A month later, Jack found himself in a different star system, galaxies away from the one he'd landed in. Jack thought he might have been on Sto, but he didn't pay too much attention to the direction of the ship he hopped. He sat at yet another bar, trying to drown the memories best he could. Music was playing in the background, far too cheery for his thoughts. Jack thought he might have died a few times from alcohol poisoning along the way, but ever since the Rax restored his memory, everything was a blur of booze, drugs and travel. But not sex. Sure, he'd seen plenty of attractive people, but guilt and shame slashed libido like no other. Still, Jack never thought he'd be one to turn to substance abuse to escape, but he'd never been responsible for the deaths of so many people he cared for.

He wasn't just running from the memories of Ianto, but of Steven, who he had sacrificed and all but murdered to save the world. Of Tosh, killed by Jack's own brother in his rampage for revenge. Revenge for Jack's own failure to save him. And of Owen, who had to die not once but twice because Jack couldn't let him go the first time and couldn't save him the second. Even of Suzie, killed by Torchwood, and by extension, Jack, because he couldn't see the Glove taking over. Although they were alive, Jack also ran from the memories of Gwen and Alice, who he'd failed countless times.

Whether or not he could stay dead, Jack had always known he was human throughout the ages. But now, when it seemed like all he touched led to death, Jack wasn't even sure of that. It was like all the life he had was taken from others. Humans weren't meant to live countless lifetimes.

Jack stared at his glass. It was mostly full of water. The bartender had cut him off long ago, but whatever liquor he'd consumed did nothing more than the water he was drinking now. Jack wondered why he even bothered drinking, but he knew the answer. So he could pretend that he was a normal human being, leave behind his life as Captain Jack Harkness and just be.

He sipped from the glass and swallowed slowly. A little creature made of blobby white stuff ran across the counter and fell off, squealing. Something crashed and broke as it landed. Jack looked up in surprise as the bartender set a note down on the counter.

"It's from the man, over there," he said, pointing behind him.

Jack looked up and saw the Doctor. He took a surprised breath in. Maybe he could go with him?

The Doctor nodded at the note. Jack's brow furrowed in confusion. Why couldn't the Doctor just come and talk to him? He picked it up and opened it.

_His name is Alonso_, it read.

Jack looked up, and the Doctor turned his head towards the man who'd just sat next to Jack at the bar. Jack turned to look at Alonso, wondering where the Doctor was going with this. Puzzled, he glanced back at the Doctor, who saluted Jack. Jack returned the salute, feeling like he was saying goodbye. The Doctor turned and left.

Jack looked back down at the note. It was obviously on psychic paper, because the message had changed.

_He can help._

That was all Jack needed. If the Doctor said that this Alonso could help, then he'd believe him. Alonso… Didn't the Doctor always want to meet someone named Alonso just so he could say, "_Allons-y_, Alonso"? The Doctor'd probably met him on some adventure. Jack turned his head, taking in a breath and shoving away his depressing introspection.

"So, Alonso…"

Alonso turned to face him. He was cute, kind of young looking, and looked slightly suspicious of Jack.

"Going my way?" Jack asked. Flirting was always the best way to get on someone's side. Jack cracked a smile, his first in weeks.

"How do you know my name?" He had a great accent.

Jack glanced around mischievously, raising his eyebrows. "I'm kinda psychic." He even managed to throw in a laugh there.

"Really?" Alonso looked interested.

"Yeah." Jack nodded, still smiling.

"D'you know what I'm thinking right now?" He was flirting back now. That would be a good sign.

"Oh, yeah." Jack was still nodding and beaming a bit idiotically. It'd been a while since he tried to pick someone up.

"Huh."

Jack laughed and finished off his drink, Alonso smiling amusedly at him.

"So… what are you here for?"

"On leave from the ship. It's in for repairs and so are we."

"You're an officer, then."

"Midshipman Alonso Frame, at your service."

"Nice uniform." Jack gestured at Alonso's hat.

"It's not the most comfortable." He quirked an eyebrow at Jack; it reminded him painfully of Ianto. Jack shoved down the memory and decided to go for an outrageous innuendo.

"Why don't we work on getting you out of it?"

"I'm amenable. Ship doesn't leave for more than enough time."

"I'll get a cab."

As Jack disappeared around the corner, he did his best to ignore that voice inside telling him he was being unfaithful to Ianto. Because there wasn't a Ianto anymore; there was just a memory.

**Author's Note:**

Thanks again to my lovely beta gernumblies for checking this chapter. Also, thanks to The Queen of Confusion for reviewing. I'm trying to set up a posting schedule of once a week on Fridays, with possible additional posts throughout the summer. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated so I can make the story even better.

**Disclaimer:**

Jack and Alonso and other various characters aren't mine (unfortunately); they all belong to the BBC.


	3. Discovery

Jack stared out the window, wrapped in a blanket. Beyond the single layer of reinforced glass lay the vast expanse of space. A few stars twinkled in the distance. In the reflection of the window, Jack saw Alonso come up behind him, hair ruffled from their activities. He was wearing a sleepy grin and not much else.

Jack smiled ruefully at the cliché. How often, over the past few centuries, had Jack and whoever had caught Jack's interest ended up in this exact situation? Men, women, cephalopods… Normal people might have felt déjà vu; for Jack it was almost an "again?" sort of feeling. Terrible, he knew. But habits set over hundreds of years died hard.

Ianto had once asked Jack if he was just a habit: a warm, willing, reasonably attractive body in his vicinity.

Jack knew it was rare for Ianto to ask these types of questions. When he did, Jack knew he had to answer carefully.

"Ianto-"

Jack spun around, startled. That was how he'd begun to answer Ianto, but it wasn't Jack who had said it; it was Alonso.

"Ianto," he repeated.

"What?"

"That's what you said… last night." Alonso coloured a little just at the mention.

"Did I?"

"Yes. Right as- you know."

Jack grinned suggestively, trying to keep Alonso off the subject. "We can 'you know' again, if you'd like."

"No." There went the blush again, turning his whole face pink. Not even-

"Ianto." He looked at Alonso accusingly. Wasn't Jack supposed to be the psychic one?

"It's a man's name," said Alonso.

"Yes. It's Welsh, actually. I believe Alonso is Spanish."

"Maybe where you come from, it is. But you're avoiding the subject. Who is he?"

"He died."

"My condolences," said Alonso, suddenly stiffly formal. He ducked down to pick up his trousers.

"Thanks." Jack watched suspiciously as Alonso scurried around the room, retrieving his clothing and pulling it on.

"Going somewhere?" Jack lazily let the blanket slip down.

"Depends. Will you tell me what happened with Ianto?"

Jack's eyes glittered dangerously. "Why?"

Alonso sank down on the bed and turned to look at Jack. "I thought you were sleeping, around three. Your eyes were closed, but you were tossing and turning. And it almost it sounded like you were sobbing. All of a sudden, you opened your eyes and said, 'Ianto.'"

Jack hardly remembered that not-quite dream. He rarely every slept anymore, but he sometimes had these odd, waking dreams, which were coming more than usual as of late.

He looked up at Alonso, who was frowning at him.

"I'm sorry if I worried you."

"It would help if you told me who he was."

Jack pulled the blanket tighter around him and sat down with a sigh. "I don't know why you want to know so badly."

"The look on your face… You said his name and then said, 'I'm sorry.' What for?"

Jack looked away from Alonso and squeezed his eyes shut. Normally he wouldn't even consider telling anything about himself to a random shag, but the Doctor had said Alonso could help. Jack assumed he meant more than just in the obvious way. And despite the Doctor calling him wrong and shattering Jack's hopes and heart in the process, he trusted him beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"Ianto was… I don't even know what to call him. He was my employee and colleague first, a coffee boy, really. Then he ended up my lover and eventually, my friend."

"Interesting order," Alonso commented. "You worked at Torchwood?"

"You've heard of Torchwood? Already?"

"Yeah, actually. It's a major category in the database, with you at the head. Got to make sure not to disturb the locals when you're visiting."

"Database?"

"Yes. Capricorn Cruiseliners has a comprehensive catalogue of any known populated planets within travel distance."

"Can you access it here?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I need to check something." In the month that Jack had been completing what had been essentially an intergalactic pub-crawl, he'd also been searching for the 456. But since he didn't know their real name and had only a general description, he'd found nothing.

Alonso pulled out what looked like a laptop from a cupboard. He pressed a button and it lit up, welcoming Midshipman Frame.

"It only works with my touch," said Alonso as Jack reached over for it.

"Fine. Can you search for a species by its description?"

"Yeah, I should be able to. Who're we looking for?"

"Don't know the name."

"I gathered that. What do they look like?"

"Non-humanoid; three heads; green; breathes in a complex mixture of gases that are poisonous to humans."

"Do you know the specific gases?"

"Hold on." Jack rummaged through the pockets of his greatcoat, which was draped over the baseboard of the bed. Pulling out his vortex manipulator, he tapped keys until the relevant information came up.

"It's 25% nitrosyl chloride, 22% hydrogen chloride, 20% nitrogen, 12% fluorine, 9% hydrogen cyanide, 6% acetone, and 6% phosgene."

"Okay, can you give me anything else?"

"They used children as recreational drugs. Kept them alive for years past when they ought to have grown up and extracted something from them for their pleasure."

Alonso looked up at Jack, who was staring across the room, obviously remembering something horrible. His gaze flicked down to the database when it beeped, showing a page of basic information for the species Jack was searching for.

"Jack? I've got them."

"What are they called?"

Alonso tapped the screen where the name was displayed in an alien script. "It's unpronounceable by humans, apparently. But I can give you a translation. It's odd, really. Their name means 'four-five-six.' That's it, just 'four-five-six.'"

"Really?"

"Yes. Why?"

Jack sighed, and bitterly told Alonso how the 456's invasion had all started, with the original twelve that he had given to them. "We called them the 456, not knowing it was their real name, because of the frequency they used to communicate with us. We felt so ignorant, so puny, not even knowing what their name was. And we had it right the whole time." Jack chuckled darkly.

Alonso looked uneasily at Jack. This grim, angry, damaged man in front of him was hardly like the laughing stranger he'd met the night before. Was this who Jack really was? Alonso didn't know how to react to his statement, so he settled for researching the 456 further.

"Jack?" he ventured after a few minutes of stony silence.

"Yes, Alonso?"

"I've got more information on the 456. What would you like?"

Jack sighed, seeing that he'd startled, maybe even frightened Alonso. He wasn't used to normal company, even after only a month.

"Listen, sorry for the doom and gloominess. I meant to put it behind me, I really did."

"It's all right." Alonso was visibly relieved. Good, Jack thought. It wouldn't do to scare away the only ally he seemed to have.

"Do know you know where they come from?"

"I have a word, but it's in their language, again."

"No translation this time?"

"Nope, sorry."

Jack pursed his lips, thinking. How could he track those bastards down if he couldn't pronounce their name?

"Why do you want to know all of this, Jack?"

"It's a long story," Jack warned. He'd given up on any pretence of secrecy. Alonso had given him a lot more than he had managed to get himself. Might as well tell him the whole damn thing.

"I've got time."

Jack nodded. "Like I said, they landed in 1965 on Earth first. We gave them twelve children in exchange for an antivirus for a strain of Spanish influenza. You've got to understand, the Spanish flu had killed millions fifty years back, and all of the projections we had backed up their prediction that this new strain would wipe out the population. We were desperate."

Jack continued with the tale of the 456's return to the Earth, of their eerie control over the children. Once the government had realised what they were dealing with, they ordered the execution of all people involved, and what had happened at the hospital.

"I can't die, Alonso, so they ambushed me, planted a bomb in my stomach, and killed a doctor who had been asking about Torchwood to cover it up."

"But you can technically die. You just don't stay dead."

"How do you know so much about me?"

"Database." He brandished the aforementioned device.

"Fine then. They thought my inability to stay dead had something to do with the Hub, so they put a bomb in my stomach and activated it as soon as I got in."

"You went all the way back to the Hub and didn't notice a bloody bomb in your stomach?"

Jack was taken aback. Why hadn't he noticed the bomb? It was a sizeable device.

"I had just died, three or four times at least. It's a little disorienting, okay?"

Alonso raised his palms in surrender.

"The point is, we detected it before it went off, and Gwen and Ianto managed to get out."

"So this Ianto lived through a bomb, only to die?"

"He was resilient."

"What happened next?"

Jack recounted the next few days, from his being trapped in a cell full of concrete, to Ianto saving all of them to their flight away from Cardiff to London, where the aliens had landed. When he got to the fourth day, the day their plan had been put into action and the day that Ianto had died, Jack paused. "Thinking back on it, it was stupid, really, going to into Thames House with nothing but a few guns and a speech. What could we have done? Even if I'd gone in alone and Ianto hadn't died, I'd still be responsible for the deaths of everyone else in the building."

Alonso reached out and pulled Jack into an awkward hug. "You did what you thought was best," he said, trying to comfort him.

"But that's just it. Ianto and everyone else in that building relied on me. And I let them down."

"What exactly happened?"

"Ianto and I, we rushed in there, guns blazing, hoping to intimidate them or something. I made a long big speech about how the Earth would fight back, and they released a virus into the air that killed everyone, Ianto included." Jack refused to look at Alonso, glaring at the wall instead. He tried to keep detached, like he was just recounting a case. But he couldn't.

"I begged for them to release the antivirus, but they didn't. And all of it was my fault. I all but killed everyone in that building. I all but killed Ianto because I was so stupid and arrogant and pretentious. I failed."

"It wasn't your fault, Jack. You weren't the one who sent out the virus, you didn't lock the building. It was the 456."

"And the only reason they were there in the first place was because _I_ gave them the children in the first place. I took Ianto in that building with me, knowing that he was mortal. And my own stupidity led to his death. I can't forgive myself for that." Jack blinked hard, stopping any tears coming from his eyes.

"You don't have to keep going, Jack, really."

"I do. I owe it to Ianto."

Alonso patted Jack's back, wondering why he was choosing to keep telling the story, even though it pained him so much.

Jack answered Alonso's question, almost if he _were_ psychic. "Last night, I saw the Doctor in that bar. He handed me a note telling me your name and saying you could help. I believe him."

"I don't know what I can do, Jack."

"You don't have to do anything. Just listen. I can even wipe your memory afterward, if you want to forget." Jack laughed bitterly again. This was the same thing Suzie had done, ages ago it seemed: spilled her guts, shared the burden and then wiped it from the listener's memory. Look where it had led her. But Jack figured he had nothing to lose.

Alonso wordlessly shook his head. He did not want to forget this extraordinary man breaking down in front of him.

Jack took a deep breath and continued. "I remember kissing him before he died, like I was trying to shove my life into him."

"Can you do that?"

"I don't know. It might have worked before, and I hoped it would work again. But then I woke up under a blanket, and he didn't. I hoped so hard that it would, that I hadn't killed him. I guess there was no life left in me, so I couldn't give it to him."

Alonso rested his hand on his chin, absently staring at the database screen. After a few minutes of silence he asked, "What happened afterward?"

"We left. We had to regroup, get Ianto's sister's kids safe and break the news."

"No, I mean what happened to Ianto's body?"

"Well, the Torchwood protocols say that bodies have to be frozen after death, but the Hub was destroyed. But we ended up calling in a favour with Agent Johnson and got Ianto's body frozen at the same facility where I was detained."

"The woman who tried to kill you? All of you?"

"She had a change of heart."

"You trusted her with his body?"

"She wasn't working for the same people anymore. She was on our side."

"But you definitely got his body frozen in under twenty-four hours."

"Yes. Why?"

Alonso showed Jack the screen of the database.

"I seem to have made a discovery."

**Author's Note: **

Phew, I'm finally done with finals. Onto summer! Thanks to my wonderfully amazing beta gernumblies for fixing stuff I don't see, and to specialfrancine for reviewing the last chapter.**  
**

**Disclaimer:**

Jack and Alonso and other various characters aren't mine (unfortunately); they all belong to the BBC.


	4. Anticipation

Jack shifted over to sit next to him and peered intently at the screen. After he scanned it, he looked at Alonso bewilderedly.

"It's just information about the 456's toxin," he said disappointedly.

"Yes, but watch." Alonso reached over and set the screen back to the 456's strange, jagged script. He pulled up a translator and ran a search for the word "toxin". It highlighted all the occurrences of the word on the page.

"Okay, so you can translate and search at the same time. What does that have to do with Ianto?"

"Shush."

Jack drew back, offended. He hadn't been shushed by anyone in ages.

Alonso cancelled the search and started a new one. "See what happens when I search the word 'virus.'"

The program highlighted the same word as the previous search all over the page.

"What?"

"Don't you see?" Alonso said excitedly. "They're the same thing to the 456!"

"How does that change anything? Ianto's dead, whether by virus or by toxin." Saying those words seemed to hurt Jack, and he turned away. "And it's all my fault."

"Oh, no. Don't you start that again." Alonso yanked Jack back to where he could see the screen. A click of a button set the display back to English. "Look at what the toxin does, Jack!"

Jack reread the description. "It's a type of live toxin… No wonder they didn't bother to distinguish. It can pass through nearly every substance within minutes of its release. But it dies after about two hours, it seems." He turned back to Alonso. "All this does is explain how the 456 managed to release it from their airtight tank and how it spread so quickly but we could get in so soon after."

"Yes, but Jack, check what it _does_." Impatient, Alonso scrolled down to the workings of the toxin. "It puts its victims into a sort of chemical stasis. They seem to be dead, but they're really just kind of frozen. If the victim isn't exposed to either the antidote or more toxin within twenty-four hours, they die."

"That's what they used on the children from 1965 to keep them alive and unchanging for so long." Jack began to connect the dots. "Continuous exposure to the toxin."

"Yes!"

"But we didn't administer the antidote or more toxin to Ianto."

"Yeah, but you said you got him into cryogenic stasis within twenty-four hours. It's just possible that keeping him literally frozen prolonged the stasis, acting like more toxin would have."

"There's a chance he's still alive?"

"Yes, Jack. There is." A smile broke out across Alonso's face as he watched Jack light up. He looked much younger, with all the grief and guilt erased from his immortal face. Alonso let out a startled squeak as Jack sprang up and kissed him full on the mouth.

"Thank you, Alonso. I don't think I can ever repay you for this."

"You don't need to. Take it as me passing on the favour the Doctor did for me."

Jack embraced Alonso tightly. "I have to go get this fixed," he said, indicating his wrist strap.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" Alonso pointed to the blanket, which had fallen to the ground in Jack's excitement.

Jack grinned shamelessly.

"Jack, clothes, now." Alonso grabbed garments off the floor and various pieces of furniture and bundled them into Jack's arms.

"Why?"

"If you're going to get that fixed to teleport back to Earth right away so you can wake up Ianto, I have to warn you: it's going to take more than you think." Alonso hated to burst Jack's bubble, especially since it had been reformed so recently, but if Jack just woke Ianto up, there could be terrible consequences.

"Enlighten me, then." Jack dressed quickly and efficiently, the routine down to an art, except for putting on his coat, which Ianto had done.

"You need to give him the antidote before he wakes up completely. The toxin is still in his system, just frozen. If he wakes without it gone completely, it could kill him."

Jack tied the laces on his boots and looked up at Alonso.

"Where do I find the cure?"

"It's not going to be an easy find."

"I'd go to the ends of the universe to save Ianto. Believe me, I've been there; it's not so bad."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"All right, then." Alonso pulled up an information page on the antidote. "The only species that has the antidote is the 456. It looks like it's a synthetic that they manufacture to counteract their own venom."

Jack gripped the edge of the bed he sat on, knuckles going white from the strain. "I have to go face them. Again. And not for the purpose of killing them?"

"I'm sorry."

"Can't we get it off the black market or something?"

"No. It's incredibly rare. The 456 make it so infrequently that even smugglers can't get their hands on it."

"How are we going to get it, then?"

"We have to go to the source."

"Do we have to leave the source alive?"

"Yes."

"Damn it, Alonso, I can't just go find them and _not_ take revenge. They turned my home into a heartless hell and they just get away unscathed?"

"You can't blame the species for the crimes of one single member!"

"How do you know there was only one of them? The pulse could have killed others in the spaceship we couldn't find."

"No, it couldn't have. Sounds don't travel in space."

"I know that. But this species seems to be attuned to the frequency."

"You still don't know. I can't help you if all you're going to do is slaughter the 456."

Jack nearly stormed out of the room at Alonso's assertion. Instead, he bit his tongue and glared at Alonso until he calmed down.

"Fine," he said eventually. "But I get any wind that they're doing something dangerous and I will attack."

"That's all right." Alonso pulled up the planet's co-ordinates in the database. "Jack?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you trusting me? I just met you last night."

"It was a good night."

"Yeah, but one good lay is not grounds for this kind of faith. I could take you to some far-off world and sell you to slavers or something."

"Been there, done that, escaped and shut them down."

"So it's because you figure I can't really hurt you."

"Not completely. I know the Doctor quite well, you see. I travelled with him for a while."

"I know. But you weren't with him when I met him."

"Yeah, long story. Anyway, I ended up immortal, and we parted."

"All right. What does that have to do with me?"

"Last night, I saw him in the bar. He looked… resigned, almost like he was trapped."

"Trapped by what?"

"I don't know… It was unsettling. Anyway, he handed me a note with your name on it saying you could help."

"Help with what?"

"I guess with this. I'm not sure how he knew, though."

"He's the Doctor. He knows everything."

"True." Jack grinned.

"But that can't just be it. One recommendation from the Doctor and you automatically trust me? Don't you want a second opinion?"

"That was bad," said Jack, shaking his head. "But there is another reason: you remind me of him."

"Of Ianto?" Jack studied Alonso's face carefully but saw only genuine surprise.

"Yeah. And over the years I've learned to trust people like him."

"Hmm…" Alonso looked off into space for a few moments, and then seemed to compose himself. "Well, we'd better be off. Time is wasting." He pulled up an image of the planet, a misty moon in the far reaches of Mutter's Spiral where only the 456 managed to thrive. "Right, looks like it's going to take us a bit of time for us to reach conventionally."

"How long?"

"Six months, and that's on an express cruiser."

"Hmm. That might be problematic."

"Tickets are dead expensive. I certainly don't have enough to get one. Besides, I can't get leave for six months. We usually don't even get six hours!"

"Point taken. I could get my vortex manipulator fixed."

"How long would that take?"

"We're on Sto, right? Good. We'd be in trouble on Earth, or another planet that hasn't developed teleport yet, but as long as I find some reasonable sonic technology and a teleport base code, I'll be good."

"I can probably find you that on board, in the mechanics bay. That's all you need?"

"The last time the Doctor disabled my vortex manipulator, he fried a few circuits along with it, just to make sure I couldn't get away with just the base code like I had. Since Earth had absolutely no sonic anything, I couldn't fix it. Now I can."

"That's brilliant! So we'll leave once you get it fixed?"

"_I'll _leave once I get it fixed."

"You can't take me?"

"I can take you. But I'm not sure if I will."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go. After all, I'm the one who found them."

"I can't die. You can." Jack held up a hand as Alonso began to interrupt. "Let me rephrase. I can't _stay_ dead, whether I want to or not. You can't come back to life, whether you want to or not."

"From what you've told me of Torchwood, death hasn't stopped you before."

"We're a statistical anomaly, suffice it to say."

"I'm still going with you."

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't just run off and leave you here where you're safe."

"I have the database."

"I'll manage."

"Look, Jack. You're not leaving me behind. I'm the fastest way you have to getting Ianto back and you know it. I've faced danger before; that's a given, seeing as I've met the Doctor and he can't stay out of it."

"I know you have. But I've seen what these creatures can do, and even if the rest of them don't, they're capable."

"It'll take you considerably longer to get there without my help; teleport base codes and even rudimentary sonic technology are only available to the biggest corporations and the military."

Alonso had hoped that would convince Jack, but he still had a smug, "I'm doing this for your own good" look on his face.

"That's perfectly fine. Once I get the vortex manipulator going, I can hop back to whatever time is necessary."

Jack had Alonso there, but Alonso wasn't going to give in that easily. "I'm coming. I can have you detained for suspicious activity, you know."

"Alonso, not to sound cliché, but I have all the time in the world."

"But do you want to wait that long? Let me come with you. Please."

"I don't think so."

Alonso turned away and began typing furiously on the database screen, looking for any reason for Jack to take him. But after ten minutes of searching, he'd found nothing. Just as he was about to give up, Alonso spied something.

"Jack!"

"Nothing you say can convince me, Alonso. You're not coming." Jack had struggled into his greatcoat while Alonso searched. He strode towards the door and was about to open it when Alonso spoke up.

"So you do want to get jailed for life on the 456's planet, then?"

"What?"

"Turns out that their planet is restricted, partly due to the toxic chemicals the 456 breathe, partly because the 456 are a rather secretive species. No one allowed in or out unless they have ambassadorial status or express permission from the 456 government."

"I'm sure they have ways to sneak in."

"Nope. All ships in and out of the world are thoroughly searched, and then all airlocks are opened. Anyone not a 456 is basically gassed out. Anyone caught is jailed for life if the council is being lenient; if not, they just toss him or her outside."

"I'll revive, you know."

"Yes, but you'll keep dying. Only those with permission are allowed suits or oxygen tanks. They'll find you eventually."

"That's a risk I'll have to take. And now I'm really not going to take you."

"I can get us ambassadorial status."

"How?"

"I'm a midshipman for Capricorn Cruiseliners. It's simple enough to send a dispatch that I would I like to visit the planet as a representative of the cruise line seeking new ports of call."

"Why would a cruise ship visit inhospitable planets?"

"If you worked for a cruise company, you'd know the answer: exploration. It's the adventure and thrill of seeing a place so few others not of the natives have."

"You have a point there."

"So, I'll go send that dispatch now. And Jack? I am coming. I'm getting status for us both, and since I'm the officer, they won't accept you alone onto the planet."

"What you're saying is that you're blackmailing me into letting you come?"

"Tsk, tsk, Jack. It's extortion, not blackmail. I thought you'd know that."

"I'm learning every day."

"Come along, now. To the officers' deck."

Jack pressed the button to open the door and stood beside it, gesturing gallantly for Alonso to go ahead. Alonso supposed he should be flattered or amused at the chivalrous act, but as he crossed the threshold, all he felt was a growing feeling of anticipation.

**Author's Note: **

Sorry for the delay; I was on vacation last Friday, and I will be for the next two Fridays as well, so I guess I'm on temporary hiatus. Thanks as always to gernumblies for editing and making sure I sound coherent, and thanks to Crowded Mind, loewchen, specialfrancine, MegKF, Lorien Lupin, A-D, and Allons-y alonso . for reviewing. Also as always, reviews are much appreciated!**  
**

**Disclaimer:**

Jack and Alonso and other various characters aren't mine (unfortunately); they all belong to the BBC.


	5. Determination

While they made their way to the Officers' Deck, Alonso took in as much as he could about this extraordinary man he had just met. Jack walked with a purpose unlike any Alonso had ever seen, his greatcoat billowing behind him like the cape of a valiant superhero, swooping in to save the day, and if the accounts on the database were true, then Jack really was a kind of superhero for the Earth.

As Alonso observed, he realised that "walked" was too bland a word to describe the graceful yet powerful way Jack moved. He only ever strode, or marched, and Alonso would bet anything that Jack even swaggered at times, but he never just walked.

Alonso continued to silently watch everything Jack did as they reached the deck. He had the feeling his time with Jack would be shorter than he'd like, and wanted to make the most of it. He only paused from his silent study to open the door to the Officers' Deck. It was early still, and the main database room was deserted, which made acquiring the ambassadorial passes all too easy.

Silence fell between them as Alonso worked and Jack rummaged around for the tools to fix his vortex manipulator. They carried on working, each concentrating on his task – and in Alonso's case on Jack as well.

"Jack?" asked Alonso, finally breaking the silence after an indeterminable amount of time. Something rather important had occurred to him. "Do you need anything besides the base codes and sonic tech to get us there?"

"Yeah. I need your biodata so the manipulator can transport us."

"That's easy enough. You can just hook it to the system mainframe. They keep everyone's biodata on hand, just in case."

"I don't think so. Regardless of how advanced Sto is in comparison to Earth, it's still the twenty-first century, and this is fifty-first century technology. It may screw up the development timeline if I hook this into a computer that's not equipped to deal with non-contemporaneous technology."

"All right. How do you want it, then?"

"Directly from the source, unfortunately. I'll have to draw blood."

"Oh. Um, okay."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I thought you didn't need biodata for teleport." Jack could tell Alonso was trying to change the subject, but went along with it anyway.

"Only if you're just 'porting one person who's wearing the wrist strap. Newer issue wrist straps could, but I didn't get mine updated before I left."

"And I'm sure they wouldn't have appreciated an upgrade request after you quit."

"Nope. They made that very clear when they promised to execute me if they saw me again."

"Hmm. Well, that's a shame."

"I have managed without biodata before. But, at that point, I had a fully functioning Chula warship."

"Really? Where'd you get one of those?"

"It crash-landed on Earth along with a medical ship that caused me no end of trouble."

"What happened?"

"Long story short? Nanogenes. Converted at least fifty people into copies of the little boy the ship hit and killed."

"Why was that such a huge problem?"

"All the boy wanted was his 'mummy'. But he had the power of a Chula warrior in his hands and started forming an army of zombies in gas masks who converted everyone they touched."

"Oh. I see the problem. How'd you get out of that?"

"You do know I know you're stalling, right?"

"Yep. But you've been going along with it so far, so I figure, what's a few more minutes?"

"All right. It was the Doctor."

Alonso nodded knowingly. "Of course."

"It was our first meeting, actually. I set him up for a con, thinking he was a Time Agent, and released this terror on the city."

"But you didn't know it, right?"

"Hell, no. I thought nanogenes were harmless. My ship was swarming with them. I probably still have a few million latched on."

"They don't turn people into copies of you, do they?" Alonso looked alarmed.

"No. I set them to only work on me after that."

"Good." Alonso turned back to the screen, hoping Jack had forgotten about drawing blood. He hadn't.

"Alonso. I still need that blood. Unless you don't want to go."

"No, I do. I just can't stand blood."

"You won't see, or feel, a thing. I promise."

Alonso looked resigned. "Mind over matter, yeah?"

"You could always stay back."

"No chance of that. What do you want me to do?"

"Strip down and lie on the floor."

"Really?" He arched an eyebrow at Jack. Again, Jack felt a twinge that was nostalgia and guilt and care mixed up with a sense of hope that he'd soon have the man that made that expression so amazing in the first place back. But now he focused on the task at hand and smiled mischievously at Alonso.

"You asked what I wanted you do to. You didn't specify for what."

Alonso just shook his head. "What do you want me to do _for the scan?"_

"Just stand there with your arms out."

Jack had already fixed the vortex manipulator, so he tapped in a few commands, and a beam of light illuminated Alonso. Jack directed it all over his body, and when he was done, the strap beeped and a small needle slid out.

"What is that?"

"A needle. To draw blood with."

"Yes, I got that. But where are you planning on sticking it?"

"Just in your arm. I need it in case we plan on time-jumping."

"Fine." Alonso offered his arm. Jack stroked the inside of his elbow gently. Alonso looked at him strangely until he saw the vein jump. Gently, Jack pierced his skin and drew a drop of blood, which the wrist strap sucked up. It beeped again and retracted the needle, much to Alonso's relief. Jack ghosted his lips over the spot where the needle had gone in, kissing it better.

Alonso took in a deep breath as Jack released his arm. He had only one thing to say: "You are honestly the only person I've ever met that could make getting blood drawn an erotic experience."

"You've obviously been meeting the wrong people. Kidding, kidding," he said pre-emptively as Alonso glared. "I do my best." He pulled Alonso in and kissed him, lips moving as gently as they had on his arm.

"Does Ianto mind?" asked Alonso as he pulled away.

"Mind what? This?" Jack kissed Alonso again, fiercer this time.

"Yeah, that."

"I don't think so. He knows that were I grew up, monogamy was not the only form of love."

"Have you asked him?"

"He always changed the subject. Besides, he's gotten me back a few times, not that I mind."

"You should ask him. Just because it's what you grew up with, doesn't mean it's what he wants. If you really do love him, you'd check."

Jack took a step away, nonplussed. It was just one of those things. He constantly commented on the quaint morals of this century, but he never really considered that they were Ianto had grown up with, and by living on fifty-first century values in the twenty-first, Jack was breaking the basic rules of commitment by appearing to cheat on Ianto quite often.

"Ianto never said anything," said Jack, quietly, stricken by Alonso's declaration.

"I didn't mean it to come out so harshly, Jack. I know you love him, and I'm sure he does too."

"That's the thing. I never told him. I never thought I had to. The love was there, and like you said, it's not a thing you have to say where I come from. But in this time it is. I couldn't even say it when he was dying." Jack sank down onto a bench, his head in his hands. "All I said was 'don't' because I knew I didn't deserve it then, and now I know for sure that I don't deserve his love."

Alonso could see Jack sinking again. But now was not the time for that. "Whether you deserve it or not, you have it. And the best way to prove you do merit it is to get off your arse and out of that black hole of self-loathing and save him."

Jack stared up at Alonso, digesting his words. If Alonso had fed him platitudes and compliments and condolences, Jack would have stayed like that forever. But instead he'd challenged him. And this challenge had two of the only things Jack had left in his life at stake: Ianto's life and Ianto's love. While Jack desperately needed both, the first one was the most important, and it was what Jack had set out to save before he'd been… distracted. So that was it. No more distractions. Ianto was more important that any of that to him, and he'd do anything to prove it to him.

"Let's go." The Jack that walked out of that room was even more purposeful than the Jack walked out, if that were even possible. And as Alonso watched Jack walk, no, march, out, he could actually feel Jack's drive and his determination.

**Author's Note: **

Camp's done, so hiatus is over! I should be posting every Friday from now on. Thanks as always to gernumblies for editing this chapter so quickly, and thanks to specialfrancine and IchigoPudding for reviewing. Also as always, reviews are much appreciated!**  
**

**Disclaimer:**

Jack and Alonso and other various characters aren't mine (unfortunately); they all belong to the BBC.


	6. Hope

Doors in Jack's path opened in quick succession as he raced down the corridor of the ship. He had only one goal in his mind at that point: save Ianto. He searched fruitlessly for a room without surveillance – didn't they have broom closets on Sto? He was halfway back to Alonso's room by the time he realised that Alonso would probably know. But where had he gone?

"Alonso?" Jack called cautiously. Perhaps they'd been discovered. Although there was no logical reason for Alonso to be forbidden from having people over on leave, it was better to err on the side of safety. He carefully padded down the hallway, staying as quiet as possible, but he couldn't help but let out a muffled grunt when someone yanked him unceremoniously into a side passage.

Jack twisted around and away from the arm that had grabbed him, ready to defend himself. He relaxed when he met Alonso's amused gaze.

"What were you expecting, the 456 themselves?"

"Not funny." Jack's eyes darted around the room, searching for any sort of security.

"What are you looking for?"

"Security. I don't see any cameras but I need to do a scan to make sure we're not being monitored."

"Why? We do have teleport, you know. I don't see the point in hiding."

"A Time Agency wrist-strap is not exactly your run-of-the-mill teleport device. The vortex manipulator aids any jumps I make. That's time travel, and you guys should not have that for two hundred more years."

"Good point," conceded Alonso. "Do you need any help?"

"Nah, I just need to hide the strap before I do the scan in case I trip a sensor." Jack pulled off his coat and draped it over his wrist. There was only one weak light in the storage closet, but Jack didn't want anything coming in the way of his rescue. Not when he was so close.

A few minutes of silent scanning later, Jack pronounced the room safe to make the jump.

"If there's anything you think you might need, now's the time to grab it. We should be back from the 456's planet soon enough, though, and I can always adjust our landing time to make sure you don't get in trouble."

"I don't think I need anything. I'm ready when you are."

Jack tapped commands into the wrist-strap until both his and Alonso's vital signs came up.

"The wrist-strap's got a lock on both of us now. I've also added a few features just to make sure you stay safe." Jack looked down and saw Alonso's pulse reading, the numbers flickering on the tiny screen, reminding him that he had someone else's life literally in his hands. He wasn't about to lose anymore to the 456 than he already had.

"Jack?" Alonso saw Jack sinking again, and called out softly to bring him out of it. "What features did you add?"

Jack looked up; his face startled, like he'd forgotten Alonso was in the room with him. "Sorry. See these two readings? This one is yours." He pointed to the ever-changing reading on the left. "And this one is mine." The one on the right looked frozen, the numbers always reading the same. "If the wrist-strap senses your vitals dropping dangerously, it'll 'port you away, back here."

Alonso thought about this for a second and started to respond, but Jack raised his hand to interrupt him.

"Yes, I know. My vitals do not change. Something in my biology interferes with the wrist-strap sensor. According to it, I'm always in perfect health because my cells are in a perpetual state of repair. So no, it won't 'port me away because I'll never be in danger of permanently dying. Whatever happens, I will live. But you might not and I won't risk it."

"I wasn't about to argue or anything, Jack. I get it. I just wanted to say thank you."

Jack smiled wearily, almost wistfully, and pulled Alonso into a crushing hug. Holding Alonso, he whispered into his neck. "Sometimes, you remind me painfully of him, with your mannerisms and that damned eyebrow thing. But Ianto never got it the way you do, and I am immensely grateful for that. So, thank you, Alonso Frame, for getting it."

Jack wrapped his arms even tighter around Alonso, who tilted his head back and gave Jack a deep kiss, knowing that this would probably be their last. Once Jack had the cure, he'd rush back to Earth and save Ianto, leaving Alonso behind, but Alonso wasn't bitter about it. He was just glad he'd managed to help this incredible man, and he knew that no matter how short the time they'd spent together was, he'd never forget it. And neither would Jack.

They broke apart after a few minutes, remembering their mission. Jack typed in the command that would send them to the planet of the 456.

But just before he pressed the button, he felt an odd sensation building in the pit of his stomach. It was dread. Jack had no idea why he would be worried about this trip. He had all the pieces to Ianto's salvation within reach. A quick trip to the 456's homeworld to get the antidote and then back to Earth was all he needed to bring Ianto back to life. He could do it. He could atone in some way for the terrible things his actions had caused. But what if something were to go wrong? What if he couldn't get the anti-venom? What if Ianto didn't wake up, even if he had the cure? Jack froze; a terrible thought had occurred to him: if he couldn't save Ianto now, he'd be responsible for his death two times over.

Alonso, sensing that Jack was doubting himself yet again, reached over and laid his hand on top of Jack's and guided his hand to press the button. As the teleport light swirled around them, Jack realised that the dread and doubt in the pit of his stomach had disappeared and a new feeling had arrived in their stead. It was hope.

**Author's Note: **

So so sorry for the long hiatus. School and that pesky thing called writer's block interfered with this chapter going up. I'll try for more regular updates now. Thanks so much to gernumblies for editing even after I vanished for a few months**. **And thanks to specialfrancine and IchigoPudding for reviewing the last chapter!**  
**

**Disclaimer:**

Jack and Alonso and other various characters aren't mine (unfortunately); they all belong to the BBC.


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